A mistaken goal chart can help you decode the belief behind the behavior or, rather, the belief behind the misbehavior you see and often misbehavior. Here, you can see one child’s solution to a problem you don’t see. So definitely, this chart helps us all to create tools for proactive responses. And also, like so many things with these tools, they start in the brain, which we are wired to connect.
Also, we have these drives almost on a cellular level to have belonging and significance. Our relationships and quality determine how we perceive other people, interpret their interactions, believe about ourselves, and think about others. Finally, when we don’t feel belonging and significance, sometimes we act in socially inappropriate ways. So we need to create a proper mistaken goal chart to get all these things.
However, the challenge is that we think about how we act. For instance, are we going to get what we want? Or else, unfortunately, when we work in socially inappropriate ways, they drive people away from us. So no matter what we need is a mistaken goal chart when we humans do not feel like we belong or are valued by significant others in significant life circumstances.
The Ways to Create a Mistaken Goal Chart
As we mentioned before, a mistaken goal chart helps us code the belief behind the behavior, which starts after we have calmed down. Here, we want to consider our feelings about the behavior. For instance, think about the last time it happened? How did you feel about it once you found your feelings matched mine and our feelings matched the row on the mistake?
And the goal chart, remember that when we lose our belonging in significance and when we are only going to act in one of four inappropriate ways. Then we want to look to column 8 for the encouraging and proactive responses, and there are many of them as follows,
- The child’s goal: undue attention, misguided power, revenge, and assumed inadequacy
- How the teacher or parent feels: worrying, annoying, angry, threatened, hopeless, disbelieving, Inadequate.
- They tend to react by reminding, fighting, Taking behavior personally, and Showing a lack of faith.
- If a child reacts, what the response can be: Stops when given one-on-one attention, when the teacher or the parent is being upset.
- The belief behind the child’s behavior
- How adults contribute
- Coded messages: Notice Me, involve me usefully, let Me Help, Give Me Choices, and I’m Hurting. Validate My Feelings…
- Teacher or parent proactive and empowering responses include :
These can be used as the things to include in the eight columns in a mistaken goal chart. However, one thing to remember is that these proactive encouraging responses often need to be set up in times of calm with your child, like you are reviewing the past and want to build a solution for the future.
What Is a Mistaken Goal Chart for Positive Behavior?
We meet children with different abilities, skills, and personalities in society. So we must effectively understand them. For instance, children who misbehave use code words to communicate with adults. A youngster who misbehaves is a child who has given up. Every child’s main objective is to experience belonging as well as significance.
This chart explains how they frequently develop false assumptions about how to find significance and belonging. Children typically feel the opposite of belonging and importance unless adults are aware of the code and can crack it. So a mistaken goal chart positive behavior and assists in learning about the codes and communicating with them in an advanced manner.
As a parent or teacher, observing your children will let you feel what has happened to them and show either positive behavior or misbehavior patterns. Here, the first sign of your child’s discouragement can be how you feel in response to their misbehavior.
Here, your emotions and feelings guide you to understand your child’s false assumptions about how to achieve belonging and significance, which is the true aspiration of everyone. Also, your child’s mistaken goal may be undue attention. For instance, when you feel guilty, annoyed, frustrated, or scared. Your child may mistakenly believe they belong when they are being observed or getting special treatment.
That will affect a child’s positive behavior, so a mistaken goal chart is much to be built as soon as you observe the various behavior patterns of the child. Not only that, this chart lists the actions of adults that encourage a child’s discouragement.
Imagine that your kid is interfering. You are serious. Your child is lectured for interfering. She pauses for a few moments. By reprimanding, you have made the discouragement stronger. Your child will work harder to attract unwanted attention in a short while. So it would be best to motivate the children but not demotivate them.
However, as a parent or teacher, you all should understand that every activity is motivated by a belief, which most parents are unaware of. They incorrectly try to alter only the behavior as a result. Only when the underlying beliefs that drive the behavior are altered will the behavior end. To change a child’s belief, you must first decode the code beneath the child’s actions to determine what the child truly needs to feel encouraged.
Four Goals of Misbehavior Charts
In the mistaken goal chart, we can easily find out four goals of the child. They are misguided power, undue attention, assumed inadequacy and revenge. These goals are crucial for understanding the iceberg’s aim and the motivation behind the misbehavior.
Undue Attention
Adults typically feel irritated or annoyed. For instance, a child may disturb you or try to take your attention toward them whenever you use your attention on another work. Such as doing household work or chatting with your relatives. It is that sensation of being interrupted.
If we use rewards and punishment to try to change that, or even if we remind people as adults prefer to do, it will continue to happen, and things will only get worse at the tip of the iceberg. This is due to the false impression that I belong when you give me particular treatment and regular attention, which lies beneath the water’s surface.
Misguided Power
When this is the goal of the conduct, adults typically feel the need to do something. It would be best to focus more on the tip of the iceberg, which will only worsen things. If you do, you will start to build a habit of engaging in power struggles with that child because they mistakenly think that they only belong when they are in charge or if they are not being controlled by anybody else.
Revenge
Our first reaction when we are upset is frequently to show sympathy. The child is vulnerable when hurting or trapped in a cycle of retaliation. So, they require emotional reassurance, and once more, they need connection before correction, which is the main tenet of constructive discipline.
Since tension decreases when a person feels more a part of something, they require connection to fill that sense of belonging. They require sympathy. Before we can start disciplining teachers, some things need to be fixed.
Assumed Inadequacy
In an early childhood context, this is quite uncommon. Still, young children with undiagnosed learning difficulties or untreated speech issues might get extremely disheartened and desire to give up.
Conclusion
A mistaken goal chart guides you to understand the misbehavior of the children and shows you how you should respond to them in an advanced manner because that will effectively guide your children in a better way.
